Hula Hoopin

You know how you have to jump through hoops every once in a while?

I am getting tired of jumping higher and higher to get nowhere. I am trying so hard. And I am not saying I am giving up. I am just saying I am tired! 

I want one thing to go as planned. I want for one week when I am not worried about one thing or another. 

I know God has all these plans, but it still just seems so much harder for me these days. I feel like since December I have been fighting to get back to normality in my life. I feel like I keep pushing forward to get somewhere just to be told that somewhere is well, um nowhere. 

I know God is still here, but the Devil is pushing me really hard. And my hoops are getting higher or smaller (or the hole I'm in is getting deeper). I am just wanting to get back to Wesleyan. I want to get back to BCM. I want to get back to Wesley Foundation. I want to become more than I am at this moment. I want to be someone more than just a homebody. I am wanting to get to the things I know are in my future, but are still a little far out of reach.

I just hurt because I see all these amazing things God has in store for me, and I cannot reach any of them. If you would, pray for me to have patience. Pray for me to gain understanding of God's timing being perfect.

So He Hates Me

So I was talkin to a guy. We were getting to know each other because we had a few things in common, and we were attracted to each other.

Well today, I told him that things were not going to move past a friendship because he and I have different goals for our lives. I realized it was not going to work. I told him as kindly as possible. And by his response... He hates me. Doesn't even want a friendship.

In my last relationship... I learned that ambition is something that is really important in a relationship. There has to be that thing that drives him. I have that want and drive for more in my life.

Honestly... I'm going to be real no matter what. I'm not settling anymore. I'm not going to give up what I want in life. God is going to give me someone who will know and love the fact that I'm aspiring to be more. God is faithful to His Children. He is loving.

He knows the current and future configuring of my Golden Heart. And He's got someone great for me.

Well Results are in

So, Lab results are in! My blood work seems good except my thyroid levels. So I have a follow up with him to talk about how to fix them! I am happy. He thinks things are getting good. I am super happy with everything that is happening. I am learning that God is still putting His plans for me in motion. Based on my kidney levels... he is happy. He thinks the kidneys are better. Once everything gets better, I can move on to bigger plans. I am happy.

BY THE WAY... The kitties are so adorable! AHHHHH! I have some pics for y'all!












But seriously! They are so adorable! They have been pretty well behaved so far. They make us laugh so hard! We have officially named them Smokey (Left) and Bandit (Right).

Life is looking up. However there are certain things that are still up in the air. We have to wait. We have to decide what will happen with certain opportunities. Prayers please y'all! And prayers to the people and their families from the wreck in my hometown today. It was pretty bad.

Goodnight. My golden heart is warm right now.