Hula Hoopin

You know how you have to jump through hoops every once in a while?

I am getting tired of jumping higher and higher to get nowhere. I am trying so hard. And I am not saying I am giving up. I am just saying I am tired! 

I want one thing to go as planned. I want for one week when I am not worried about one thing or another. 

I know God has all these plans, but it still just seems so much harder for me these days. I feel like since December I have been fighting to get back to normality in my life. I feel like I keep pushing forward to get somewhere just to be told that somewhere is well, um nowhere. 

I know God is still here, but the Devil is pushing me really hard. And my hoops are getting higher or smaller (or the hole I'm in is getting deeper). I am just wanting to get back to Wesleyan. I want to get back to BCM. I want to get back to Wesley Foundation. I want to become more than I am at this moment. I want to be someone more than just a homebody. I am wanting to get to the things I know are in my future, but are still a little far out of reach.

I just hurt because I see all these amazing things God has in store for me, and I cannot reach any of them. If you would, pray for me to have patience. Pray for me to gain understanding of God's timing being perfect.