Through this Week

So I have been wanting to write for a few days now, but could not for the life of me come up with a clear concise line of thoughts.

I finally just had a thought tonight as I sit here alone in our house. I can live alone if I have to do it. I can, but I wouldn't want to. I don't like feeling isolated. I don't like being alone. I guess this is a subtle hint from God to tell me that I do have someone out there who will complete me. I won't have to ever live in an empty house.

It is really so refreshing to feel that from God. I have been looking for something from God during these really rough past few weeks. It's not really a definitive answer to everything happening now, but then again it is. I have been asking all these questions and I guess He is telling me to sit back and let Him handle it all. I thought I was, but I guess I really wasn't.

I am so frustrated though. I don't wish the events of the last seven months on anyone, but it is hard. And my family has been through so much in life already. And we keep pushing forward to better ourselves and our situation, and the doors aren't just shut. They are slammed in our faces. Or left far enough open for us to see, but not get through. It is rough.

I am just ready for something positive to start happening. I am hoping that some of these things turn around... I really do. I am praying for some positive things to start happen. I guess I just am a hopeful person. Sometimes.... I wonder if I am too hopeful. But my faith is in God, and it rests in the fact that my Father will take care of me!

Thank You God for this little message for me. Thank you for this message of hope while I feel like everything else is falling apart.

So He Hates Me

So I was talkin to a guy. We were getting to know each other because we had a few things in common, and we were attracted to each other.

Well today, I told him that things were not going to move past a friendship because he and I have different goals for our lives. I realized it was not going to work. I told him as kindly as possible. And by his response... He hates me. Doesn't even want a friendship.

In my last relationship... I learned that ambition is something that is really important in a relationship. There has to be that thing that drives him. I have that want and drive for more in my life.

Honestly... I'm going to be real no matter what. I'm not settling anymore. I'm not going to give up what I want in life. God is going to give me someone who will know and love the fact that I'm aspiring to be more. God is faithful to His Children. He is loving.

He knows the current and future configuring of my Golden Heart. And He's got someone great for me.