I'm super confused. My emotions are in a million places. Literally, I'm thinking of Pittsburgh (PA), Aragon(GA), Macon(GA), and Oakridge(TN). I'm a mixed bag of emotions. And I'm feeling like the more I try to give it to God and focus on what I can do... the more I have no control over anything.
I just want five seconds when I'm not worrying about something. I thought almost dying this year would have filled my quota for the flames of life. I did not expect the last year to put me through hell.
I don't want to be angry or bitter to anyone, but I'm really emotionally exhausted. I'm trying so hard to keep living for God... But the breakup in August, the events of December and January, my grandfather's cancer, and some other stuff that's happened lately have drained my joy. I can't catch my breath before getting shoved into another fire trying to escape more smoke.
My heart is scrambled around with emotions that I'm trying to deal with right now.
Be not afraid. God gives us these challenges to allow us to earn skills that will carry us forward, stronger and more prepared for what is to come, hope this is good writing therapy! I love you.
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